Ann Coulter says any growing interest in soccer is a sign of “nation’s moral decay”

BASHelorette Founder, Courtney Smith replies to Ann Coulter’s post on increased soccer appreciation being an indicator of the “nation’s moral decay”

Read Ann Coulter’s full article here: http://www.anncoulter.com/


 

Dear Ann, you claim “there is no individual achievement in soccer.”

If you played soccer, you would fully understand that a goalie missing a save, a striker missing a goal and everything that happens in between incorporates teamwork, but still stings on an individual level. Have you ever seen a one-on-one play where a player missed an opportunity to score? Is he/she not standing there alone, head in hands, mad at himself/herself for not scoring? You speak of a home plate in baseball or a slam dunk in basketball and hail the players for their individuality when they strike out or make a slam dunk. Last time I checked, basketball and baseball were team sports…in fact, the soccer field is way bigger than a basketball court, so technically-speaking, basketball players are in closer proximity to their teammates when they score a point or miss it. Please remind me how they are more alone and isolated in comparison to a player on the soccer field? Oh, and I guess if someone bicycles (you might want to look that one up since you may not be familiar with the technicalities of the game) the ball into the goal, that would be a team goal? There would be no glory or recognition for the player that made an incredible shot? Wow, sounds like soccer is just communism on the field, huh? Everyone just runs around aimlessly (but united of course) until the ball magically jumps into the net. Then no one takes credit, not even the person who scored.

You say, “In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child’s fragile self-esteem is bruised. There’s a reason perpetually alarmed women are called “soccer moms,” not “football moms.”

I guess you have never heard of Michelle Akers, Pelé, Mia Hamm or Christiano Ronaldo? Before you state something as fact, it may be wise to sit with a sports journalist inside a locker room, when individual players are praised or scolded for their performance. Since I am a mom, I have to ask, “do you like bruising children’s self-esteem? Seems a little evil if that is a prerequisite of a “real sport.”

You claim: “Liberal moms like soccer because it’s a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.”

For the record Ann, I am a conservative mom and like the sport because teaches great values like teamwork, demands individual poise and dedication, helps keep kids and young adults focused and healthy, and yes…it is a sport where athletic talent abounds. There are not many other sports where you have to run, and control the ball with your feet at the same time. Most other sports give you some sort of stick, racket, glove, etc., which allows you to use your hands to score/play AND your feet to run. Oh, and last time I checked co-ed softball, basketball, tennis, etc. does exist. Mixed doubles anyone?

You say, “Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game — and it’s not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.”

Gosh dang it, I must have missed the boat when it came to getting a ribbon after every soccer game AND a juice box. I recall water during half time and after games, but never a ribbon. I guess I also missed the memo that a sport has to involve 3 or 4 fights per game and being carried off in an ambulance, to be a real sport. I agree Ann, it is definitely not a walk in the park, with ice hockey pucks flying at your face at 100 mph. In fact, no pro sport is really a walk in the park is it? Just for shits and giggles, I will tell you a little story. I was definitely not pro, but played soccer competitively for 15+ years. I was knocked unconscious when going up for a header. During a tournament, a girl broke my ankle (gasp!) on purpose. I have broken my right ankle 7 times playing soccer. I guess I should have worn padding? Or maybe it doesn’t count that sometimes I was trying to score a goal when being marked by a chick 6 inches taller than me, who outweighed my by 80 pounds. Perhaps if she gave me a swift hockey punch, soccer would be a real sport? Oh, and I forgot about the ambulance part. Let’s get one of those too, just to prove how tough we are. Perhaps we could even add some wildlife to the field to make soccer a “real” sport. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

You say,”You can’t use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here’s a great idea: Let’s create a game where you’re not allowed to use them!”

Here’s a novel idea Ann. You have two eyes and two ears. Open them and do a little research or due diligence. Oh, and not using your hands actually makes it a bit tougher to move the ball around the field. Isn’t part of what makes a sport great, the fact that it is a challenge? I mean, hot dog eating contests definitely provide quite a thumb workout, so I guess that one is up there are on the list of “real sports.”

You state, “If more ‘Americans’ are watching soccer today, it’s only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy’s 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.”

Last time I checked, I was a full blown American citizen. Did I accidentally miss the part where I am less American because I enjoy soccer? I definitely was not the product of any immigration law…and would it matter if I were? My great grandfather was born here. My last name is Smith. I watch soccer. I have a hankering that I may not be the only one. You said “I promise,” so I feel a little let down, since your promise is sort of, well…a lie. I may want to brush up on my English too? I did not even know I spoke a foreign language! How awesome!

Signed,

Courtney Smith

A political conservative, 15 year soccer player, small business owner, American, Mom…who will be watching our great nation compete in the World Cup, and will continue to be humbled by all athletes throughout the world…be they amateur or pro, running or bobsledding, playing baseball or football, boxing or golfing. Best wishes to every single athlete on the planet, don’t let anyone break your stride.

 

About the author

Courtney Smith is the Founder of BASHelorette, a website dedicated to making planning bachelorette parties, girlfriend getaways and girl's night out easier and more fun. She is also owner of CS Creative Suite, a marketing company specializing in hospitality marketing for bed and breakfasts, restaurants and spas. You can find her on Google+ and Twitter. Over the past decade, Courtney has planned countless bachelorette parties, attended as many concerts as possible and ingested copious amounts of coffee.